Journal entry: May 27,2016
I sit in the little cafe…my first time here. It is filled with people I don’t know. Many are laughing and smiling in a group. A few others are like me, wanting to be alone in a crowd right now.
I woke up at five thirty this morning to the sound of rushing water from the front pond, sounding louder than usual.
Reaching for the phone I see the text “my mom just died”. Eyes close…a few deep breaths…eyes open. The message is the same “my mom just died.”
I wanted to call but didn’t want to intrude. She is most certainly making arrangements to travel. So, I send a text “so so sorry. sending all my love. what can I do for you?” This feels empty. I need to call..need to hear her voice. I won’t keep her long.
We talk for awhile. I can hear the shock in her voice. Not because she hasn’t suffered a personal loss before because she has. However in those cases she had the chance to say goodbye. But not this time…not this time.
Out of respect for her privacy, I will not mention my friend’s name. I will share some of what she spoke of this morning. Though her mother was elderly and frail, she was not suffering a terminal illness so naturally her death comes as a shock. As a result of this sudden death, my friend was unable to be with her mom when she passed.
Several times during the course of our conversation this morning, she said how grateful she was for the fact that she had just spoken to her mother the day before and they had a chance to say “I love you” to one another.
It is times like these when we are keenly reminded that though we can certainly make plans for tomorrow, all we really have is today…right now…this moment. Now is always the best time to give those close to us a super big hug…to tell them we love them with all our hearts. We can do this now. I can do this now.